Jasmine's Journal

I need my friends....

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 23:28:53 GMT

17 years must not mean anything to some people. I might be regretting these words later but this must come out. Referring to me as "my son's daughter" is annoying to me! 17 years I've lived in this house, and helped, and loved and tried to make it up for them everyday and yet they will never ever acknowledge me as something more than their sons daughter.

For those of you who don't know... I was left by my mother when I was 5 years old. I was given to my grandparents, by my father the same year (the same day more like it). I've grown up in Florida... went to K-12 in three different schools, Tomoka, OBMS and Seabreeze... have not really one great memory from either one.

The man that has never had anything to do with me hit me in January right in front of my grandparents. Not hit... beat. BEAT! The only thing that was different about this beating was he finally did when other people were around... he's done this before, and until now I couldn't say that. When I saw him come after me... I thought he was going to kill me. I honestly thought this about the man... who once called me "his peanut" and "little girl." I had a slight dislocation in my shoulder and a ripped sweater down my chest to prove it. My grandparents took my fathers side and said I caused the whole thing.

When you have been called an idiot your whole life and then you hear out of the mouth of your own father, how are are you going to handle it... are you going to slam your hand on the table and tell him to shut up.. like I did... or are you going to beat something with your fist on someone's head... because that's what he did. Now my grandparents wonder why I still wont talk to my father. Some of you will agree... some of you wont... but I'm really afraid of him and it's not time for me to look him in the eye and tell him I love him. God help me I do love him. I do. But I can't forget what he did... at least not yet. I've forgiven though. You have to forgive... in order to move on.

Now I don't want you to go away from this blog out of anger towards my grandparents... this is not my intention... this has to be said.

I'm sorry people but when the people that you will ever know as your parents introduces you as "my sons daughter," not... my granddaughter... or my daughter... it pisses me off. I'm sorry. I love my grandparents... but as far as I'm concerned they are my parents and for them to give my father one ounce of tribute for me... is ridiculous. I'm sick of it. The reason why I have so much animosity towards my father is the obvious.

I have never claimed to be strong... people always tell me I am. Even look up to me in some ways because of all these "events" that have happen to me. I've lived my life to the best of my ability and that is what gives me strength everyday. My faith in God and the people around me is what makes me srong... all of you on Myspace... yes... even the ones I haven't seen in years all gave me strength in one way or the other. I thank all of you for continuing to think of me that way. I am grateful I can share something with you... no matter how little.

People... I don't even want to tell you what I've been going through for the past month now. I love who I am now.. and the people who have met me in the last year... have seen the best.. The people who have seen me in the last month have seen the greatest, so far, as what I'm capable of, and I'm glad. The people who have known me the longest... since elementary/middle/high school have seen dramatic changes...

I'm not as loud, depressing or full of attitude... recent recent events have only erased what was left from that... I pay credit to those of you who have seen me at my worst and have never judged me for it... or never punished me for things I could not control. I thank you for that... because I can say that each of you... has contributed to my strength and growth... at least I can acknowledge you when its due.

For those of you who have not heard about the recent happenings with my father... I'm sorry to have held back. It happened on Sunday, January 21, 2007 at 1:15 PM, and I have since then tried to put it past me. Thank you for those who were there, immediately, after it happened, I'm forever grateful.

I'm done... I will now close that door in my life so I can open a window. That's what I do. I don't harp... ponder... or think about what I could have done or what I should have done. I'm done.

Love you all!

Jasmine

Why do I act this way?

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 02:13:03 GMT

Hello everyone. I've been really stressed lately and I haven't been writing done my feelings.

School has been going great. My classes are going well and I'm involved in a lot of things and I couldn't be happier where that is concerned.

I have decided to go into Zoology as a profession.

I will double major in UCF with Zoology and Business (I must be crazy)

Cory and I have hit a plateau (not really the best way to put that). I'm happy and he's happy as well, but there is a lot of things I need to work on personally to make this relationship work. You know that age old saying "It's not you, it's me." Well I really think I've turned into a not so nice person. "There is always room for improvement" is my all time favorite saying. I don't mean to alarm anyone when you read this. Cory and I aren't separated or having a break by any means. I just feel better writing things done to get them out of my head.

I seem to be getting annoyed a lot. At Cory. For no reason at all. He says all these wonderful things to me and when I told him my feelings he's changed so much (He's still the same person, but a different kind) He's lovable, he shows affection and now he says he loves me around everyone in ear shot. I'm so proud to have him in my life... so why am I so annoyed sometimes.

After writing this, at this very minute, I feel better about my relationship and want to continue to the plans that we have thought about (our future together).

Thank you for listening.

On another note, I went to Howl-O-Scream with Cory's family and I made a new friend. Her name is Cori and she is Zane's friend. She's fifteen and she has such a beautiful heart.

My review of Howl-O-Scream is a good one. We went on a Thursday and we got on every ride first and I got scared a lot.

Anyway's... today I attended the Candidate Forum at the Deland Campus and was very shocked at how interesting it was. I might have been on Channel 13 News passing notes.

I attended it with Karina, our SGA Secretary, and Divvia, Deland Campus SGA Vice-President. We had a good time and I learned more about Karina, so it was great!

Until then, everyone. Thank you for listening. Have a safe three day weekend (if you have off on Monday, which I don't) Love you all!

Videos! Ahh... love ::sigh::

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 17:07:49 GMT

Wanted to put these video's on LiveJournal to store more energy on Myspace! Enjoy! They are all my favorites!

width="425" height="350"> ..>

.. width="425" height="350"> ..>

.. width="425" height="350"> ..>

The best shows on Nicalodian!

Fun at Camp Winona!

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 00:55:49 GMT

Well guys! I went to Camp Winona today and I had such a good time!

It was part of DBCC Leadership Retreats! I'm so glad I went it was so cool. When you go to those things you really learn to work with a team and that's so great! The SGA went (not all of us) and we really learned a lot of skills that we can use.

I was fortunate to see Cory before he went to work at Regals tonight. We ate dinner together at my house and I was so happy to see him!

Cory got me the Brokeback Mountain and Invincible posters from Regal! He's an awesome boyfriend isn't he? Wow... other girls want flower and chocolates... I want movie posters! I'm every guys dream! LOL!

Oh by the way. We are not going to St. Augustine, we're going to Disney. I know, I know. I love Disney! But I really wanted to do St. Augustine this Sunday.

We also had a Bar-B-Q at Sun Splash Park it was good! Cory went and met all my friends and I appreciate him coming it meant a lot to me.

Anyway... there are only a few pictures that I took but they turned out great!

Here they are...

Vadim playing Volleyball!

Cory playing Volleyball!

Robert playing Volleyball!

Matt playing Volleyball!

The group!

Working together!

Supporting DBCC! I love my school!

Happy Thursday!

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 22:53:18 GMT

Wow! Everyone I've had a pretty damn good week.

Tuesday, Cory took me out to dinner and a movie. We saw "Hollywoodland" I recommend it to everyone! He brought me flowers and just treated me with so much kindness (like he always does)

Wednesday we met up after school and I bought him new Converses. (Our 9th is this Friday, so we bought something for eachother)

Today was also good too. I helped him start his musical, that he's writing and he was so greatful for the help. He's at work right now, but he'll call me while he's on break.

School has been going great! A's so far! But it's still the first month of school. We'll wait until the middle of October to see for sure.

Sunday, looks pretty good. I think we'll definatly go to St. Augustine with my grandparents this Sunday. Boy I really hope so! I got the idea to go from Rod when he posted his pictures from his vacation there. It all looks so beautiful.

Anyway, tomorrow is History Club meeting. We are having our elections of officers tomorrow and I'm running for Secretary. Wish me luck!

Love all you guys and I love the fact that you all have myspaces and livejournals.

Jazz

St. Augustine , The Oldest City

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 14:23:58 GMT

Hello all! I'm sitting in the Library and on LiveJournal. I love writing in this thing. It's so fun to let out all your thoughts.

Well, hopefully I will go to St. Augustine this Sunday. The only thing is, we promised PJ that we would go to the Bandshell to here RUAH play. I mean, I really would like to go to St. Augustine. Cory developed a compromise to go to St. Augustine in the morning and come back at night for the concert. It seems like a good plan... right? Well, being the kind of person I am, I would like to not rush and see the sights on my own pase. I guess the compromise is good. We'll see.

Today was good at school. I'm already stressed out about my grades. I'm an over achiever, it's written in the Over achiever handbook to get stressed. But today I got a 12 out of 13 correct on a math paper. a 92 % and boosted my homework/in class assignments right up! I felt better already.

I saw the Softball coach and that was fun! She's really nice and sweet!

Did I tell you guys I'm the new appointed Senator of Athletics for the DBCC Student Government Association (SGA)! Yeah! Eveything that the Athletics Department does I get to do. Well, easier said then done.

Well, I have Speech today so I'm looking forward to that and then History Club. I know, I know, I'm going to wear myself down. But I can't help it. I've finally reached my maturity and have grown into this quiet, understanding and charismatic young woman. I love College and want to enjoy everything about it before I have to go into the Real World and get a job.

Cory just messaged me to call him so I guess I'll let him win today.

Love you all! Hope everything is going great!

Jasmine

Because you're mine, I walk the line

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 02:06:30 GMT

Hello all! It's Saturday and boy what a day it was.

10:00 AM went to see Cory and spent a good time with him at the mall.

12:00 PM went to see Kyle and get a Tennis Racket at Sports Authority.

12:30 PM went to lunch at Burger King, which was mucho delish!

1:00 PM tried to start the car and the battery went dead!

1:20 PM bitched out my grandparents and Cory for absolutely no reason while I was frustrated with the car.

I'm telling you people I was so upset, but that in no way does that justify my actions towards three people who I love and respect dearly. I'm sure we've all had our moments of bitchyness and I'm sure we've said things that we wish we hadn't but I know that a lot of you out there on good old live journal can relate to moments like this.

Oh well. All is well. I made up with everybody, avoiding fights with all of them and keeping my mouth shut was key.

I felt bad for Kyle that we took out to lunch on his thirty minute lunch break. he was good enough to help find out what was happening with the car. My grandparents took him back to work and he was great while I was in my "Oh my God! What am I going to do!" phase.

Went to Goodyear shortly after and found out that it wasn't my fault and the signs for a dead battery were no where in sight. Got a new battery and my car works fine.

$ 89.00 for a new battery.
$ 250.00 for a new Alternator
Realizing that your boyfriends brother likes you as a sister.

Priceless.

Cory and I went back to his place and fell asleep on the couch from the long, hot and aggravating day. Cory is definitely my rock. He's amazing and I'm so blessed to have him in my life. He went to work at 6:00 PM and we parted ways for the night and I'll see him tomorrow when he comes over.

Bar-B-Q at Aunt Lori's (Cory's Aunt) house for Labor Day! I'll be posting pictures hopefully! Should be fun!

Thanks for listening and I love all of you. Have a great day off from school on Monday all you guys! And be safe during this holiday weekend!

At school and slowly sliping into madness. J/K

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 18:10:35 GMT

Hello all! I'm at school and today was a good one. First was Math which is a whole nother system here at good ol' DBCC.

Next was History which I'm not very impressed with but oh well. My teacher is all right but the classes are filled with our thoughts about absolutely nothing that's relavent to what we're suppose to be learning. Look, I understand that it's only (really) the first week of school. But come on people! I'm paying $65.00 per credit hour to be taught to listen. I feel like there is no work involved. Whatever. I'll be eating my words in a week I bet.

Next was Math Lab which I saw a new friend from HLP (Health, Fitness and Wellness) and I chatted with him for a while. Nice guy. Was in the Marines for seven years.

Last was English. Okay, I like this class. The teacher is nice. We have a Research paper we have to get started on and I decided to do mine about Animal Captivity. If an endangered animal is on the verge to be extinct should they be captured from their habitat and brought into captivity? Just a little question to ask yourself.

Anyway. I'm in the Cafeteria waiting to go into SGA and I just really want to go home, do a little homework and enjoy the rest of my day off. Maybe play a little playstation, go on myspace a lot. Just stupid stuff to eat away at my heart. LOL. J/K.

Paul's Birthday Party!

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 14:28:11 GMT

First off, Happy Birthday to Paul Sowers (Aug 26), Cory's brother.

The party was at Roadhouse grill and it was a great party. Very Paul. No big thrills or surprises. Especially because if there was to be any singing and dancing by the workers of the restaurant he would walk out :) Oh, Paul, we love you so much!

Down below are pictures of Paul opening his presents and haveing a good time.

He's got such a funny laugh!

Paul and Tesa. She's so photogenic.

She had no idea he was doing this.

Cory's present for Paul.

My present.

The William's Family Present.

It's a Mickey doornob.

The Evil Stich in the hands of Peter Pan, with Tinker Bell on his shoulder!

Happy Birthday PJ! Hope you had a great time!

Well, it's Sunday and we're suppose to go to Disney today, I hope we do. It's 10:50 I hope Cory calls soon, so I know. I love Disney!

Oh well. Till then!

First Day of School!

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 01:56:09 GMT

Yay! The First day of school came and went for me without a hitch.

I arrived very early. 7:30 AM to volunteer at the SGA Information Table. We helped out a lot of people find there classes, answer questions and gave out food, drinks and DBCC stuff. It was a great morning. I was laughing and that made the first day of school awesome.

My first class. Health, Fitness and Wellness at 9:45 to 11:45 is awesome. I know I'm going to get a great grade in this class. I also found out that this class ends in November because of the daily hours of the class.

My second class SPC2600, Speech/Oral Communication was okay. It's 50 minutes so that's good.

On my way out around 12:50 and who do I call, but my boyfriend. Cory was actually on campus with Kyle. I also ran into sweethearts, Rod and Krista and they looked wonderful of course. And I hated to talk and run but Cory was waiting for me. Cory and Kyle were in the bookstore looking for his math book, that is available to him on Monday, which sucks, but whatever.

Kyle purposely, which I heard from Cory, went to DBCC at that specific time to meet up with me so I could show him where his class was. And that's what I did. I was so ready to go home but it's okay. I love seeing Cory and his brothers.

I hope everybody's first day was great! Hope everyone doesn't have to hard a time dropping those classes that today they decided they didn't want anymore.

I have Math, American History, and English tomorrow. Yay!

Until then. Love you all!

Cory's Birthday!

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 21:03:57 GMT

Happy very late birthday to Cory (August 2, 2006). I would have posted pictures but livejournal is apparently not letting me. Oh well.

The Surprise "Pirates of the Caribbean" Party was held at Aunt Lori's house.

This Wednesday is school and I can't wait. I'm taking five classes and I'm now part of the SGA at DBCC. I'll be writing on Tuesday or Wednesday to talk more about it. Right now, Malcolm in the Middle is going on and I love that show and I have to download a song that Cory can't live without.

Until then.

P.S. I tried to get these pictures! Yay! Pictures from the party!

The Birthday cake that I made that was madeover by the family when I left it unsupervised at the party.

Cory and his mom, Susan. Awe.

Cory and Paul. They are so funny together.

Cory and I. Awe. I invented that face pose.

Cory and Tesa. Cory is so wonderful with her.

Had to rock the couple picture.

Cory and Kyle. They have a very interesting relashonship.

The "Girls" as I call them. Leah and Sarah.

Krista's Birthday Camping Trip

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 18:27:18 GMT

Well Krista's birthday was an absolute success thanks to Yvonne and everyone that planned the party. The food was great, the people were great.

The Birthday Party was set in Alexander Springs, part of the Ocala National Forest. The Camping grounds were quite interesting. My first Camping Trip was very memoriable.

The only thing that sucked was the weather. It was so freaking hot. Nobody let that put a damper on the festivities.

Sarah joined us on Friday and Monohan came the next day. Cory and I thought it best to leave because of promises that he made to his brother. We had a great weekend with our friends and a great night/day with his family.

Cory got burnt on his knees and when we got home Saturday night, they swelled up. I put some aloe lotion on it and he didn't have much trouble after that. I got a great tan but a lot of our friends probably got burnt a lot too.

Krista! I hope you had a great birthday and I love you so much.
Yvonne! You did a wonderful job and you are a fantastic person!
Sarah! I'm so glad I see you now! Hopefully we'll see eachother this weekend.
Christina! It was great meeting you and I hope to see you again!
Tosha! I enjoyed your lauging when we were canoeing. We can all laugh now.
Rodrigo! You're the best! Can't wait to see you again.
Michael! What would the group do without you. You're definatley one of a kind.
Daniel! You're awesome! What else can I say, seeing you is always a pleasure.
Monahan! Star Wars rocks! Thanks for swimming with me.

I know the messages are long but I couldn't just say something about one person and not about anybody else.

Here are only a few pictures from the Camping trip, I am awaiting more when Krista (yeah, I'm calling you out!) scan's them in for me!

	Rodrigo "Rodrigo... that's fun to say, Rod-rigo!"
	Mike Mike explaining something again. Love him so much.
	Rod and Dan They look so hot by that fire. And that can be taken both way's ladies.
	Monahan, Tosha and Christina Awe, that's a nice picture of them.
	Rod, Krista and Mike They scared the S**t out of me! They knocked into our boat and freaked out me and Cory! It's all good though.
	Yvonne and I! I love Yvonne! Ah... it was a great trip. I was sad to go home early.

When we got home Saturday night Susan, Cory's mom showed us a picture of Danny, Cory's dad when PJ was just a baby. Compare that to Cory and Tesa's picture taken in 2006. You'll see the same face, and attitude. I re-created the picture yesterday.

If you're still wondering what Cory will like like when he's older... I think this is enough evidence now.

Danny and Paul in 1983

Cory and Tesa in 2006

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 04:06:08 GMT

Below are pictures of Michelle acting like Princess with her entourage! I met two new girls that I know I will see soon! They were so great!

I had a great time watching Michelle (the soon to be bride) try on dresses and feeling like she was the only woman in the world at the moment (which you should feel at a time like this).

	Arms! Why were you blessed with gorgeous arms?
	Over the Shoulder! Work it girl!
	Happy! You look so happy! I had so much fun!
	Dress "That's my dress!" - Jasmine
	Heavy How heavy was that dress Michelle?
	Bride You are certaintly a bride and a glowing one too!
	Stunning! I'm so proud to be your friend!
	The entourage! So glad I met you ladies! We'll see eachother soon!
	A new bride! I couldn't leave this picture out! What a beauty!

This all took place on Saturday (the 15th) which was me and Cory's (did I word that right?) 7th month.

On a side note, I finally got a Play Station II today and can't stop playing it. I know that I have a little more self control playing on it, but we'll see; I got Kingdom Hearts with it.

That's it for now. It's 12:05 AM, and I'm exhausted! Goodnight!

Disney Trip!

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 02:23:52 GMT

Just to let you all know, my favorite character list is as follows:

Princesses:

1. Ariel
2. Jasmine
3. Belle
4. Aurora
5. Snow White
6. Cinderella

I was so mad that every where I looked I saw Stitch with a Pirates outfit on, when Mickey of all characters should wear it.

If I haven't posted it anywhere, Pirates of the Caribbean ruled! What a great movie. We have to wait til May to see the final installment! How unfair is that? The movie is already made! I guess P.J. is right, they want to make more money on the merchandise and DVD before the 3rd comes out. Oh well. Pirates of the Caribbean ruled the box office!

I also got to take pictures with all the ORIGINAL Disney Princesses. Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, Aurora, Snow White and Cinderella. I love Ariel the best because she's the most adventures, prettiest and most independent of all the Princesses.

I got to have pictures with Daisy, Pluto, Minnie, The Brother Bears, and Stitch! I was really disappointed because Mickey, Goofy and Donald were not available for pictures when I got done with the rest of them. Oh well.

My trip was great! I had a great time! Until this weekend when I post pictures and an entry about Michelle's Girly Saturday! I can't wait for that!

Here are some picture I thought you would like! Enjoy!

Click on each picture to get a description. I don't know exactly how posting pictures work.

Pictures from Universal!

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 21:22:18 GMT

Pictures from Universal a couple of weeks ago. Thought I would share.

	Leah I love this picture of Leah (Cory's sister) She is so beautiful.
	Tesa Tesa (Cory's sister) is so cute! I love this picture of her.
	Sarah Sarah (Cory's cousin) is a doll! I love her so much!
	Me holding George! After Cory won Curious George for me.
	Outside of Posideon. Cory and I outside of Posideon.
	Zane Zane (Cory's cousin) on the Merry-Go-Round.
	Kyle Kyle (Cory's brother) riding that giraffe.
	Cory and I Just a cute pic. My facial expression is totally real, I had no idea what he was going to do.

Another place to make friends! Yeah!

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 16:30:18 GMT

So, I'm here, at home, watching E! News writing my first journal entry. I decided to make a journal and keep in this time, because it will be a great way to keep in touch with people that don't have myspaces (KRISTA!)

Tomorrow was fun. I went over to Cory's and I watched Batman: Begins for the first time, and I didn't really like it all that much, but it had its good points. We went over to Lori's, Cory's aunt, house and swam until 11:00 and then I went home.

Today I went to work and I left at 12:00! I'm on call if she needs me for the afternoon (When the mail gets here) What? Hello! Once I'm home, I'd like to stay home. But I understand where my boss is coming from. It can be hectic in a law office when all the mail gets there.

Until we meet again. I'm going now. Hopefully Cory will get out of work early so we can meet up.

Bye!